Eman Sakina

In some cultures, a girl’s right to marry is ignored. Educated men and women now talk about marriage at home, but in some cultures, women may still be discouraged from such talk. In these cultures, parents may arrange a marriage for their children. Do you know that Islam considers a woman's perspective on marriage? Is it permissible for parents to make their kids get married? Unfortunately, religious beliefs are misunderstood, and fathers often think they are entitled to marry their kids off to whomever they want without getting their permission. Is this Islamic? The shortest answer is No!!

Friday Musings

Unfortunately, often parents just inform their children that the wedding will take place on that day in various cultures without even asking or discussing it with them. This is not what Islam teaches. Women frequently query if they have a voice in Islamic unions. Women have the option to approve marriage in Islam. A woman's consent is required for the marriage to be legal.

Parents cannot simply marry their daughter without her consent. Parents should find out if they have their daughter’s consent to the marriage and set an example from the life of the Holy Prophet Hazrat Ali once sent his proposal to the Holy Prophet, who wanted to marry his daughter Fatima. He did not accept the offer and simply said: “In Sha Allah” (if God wills). Then the Prophet Muhammad approached his daughter Fatima, discussed the proposal, and asked her permission. After accepting the offer, the Prophet accepted Ali’s offer. This shows how important it is to get a daughter’s opinion about marriage.

The Holy Prophet said that “a woman (whether she is a virgin, divorced, or a widow) cannot be married to anyone until her permission is sought.” This shows that Islam does not condone forced marriages. 

From the life of the Holy Prophet and examples of his teachings, it’s clear that Islam does not allow forced marriages. However, the Quran also prohibits the forced marriage of women. This is a verse from the Quran that forbids forced marriage in Muslims.

O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion.” — Quran 4:19 

Another misconception is that women cannot ask a man to ask for marriage. Many Muslims consider it a culturally indecent act. But that’s quite contrary to the truth. It is not Islam that considers a marriage proposal from a woman an act of indecency. This idea was given to people by culture. People need to do a better job of separating the deen from their cultural beliefs. 

Let’s look at a historical situation where that happened, using an example from the life of the Holy Prophet. Khadija bint Khuwaylid was the employer of the Prophet. She was impressed by the honesty and truthfulness of the Prophet Muhammad and offered to marry him. The Holy Prophet accepted the proposal and they got married. 

What can be a better example than this? There is no restriction in Islam about who is allowed to send a marriage proposal. Hence, if you are a woman and want to marry someone, you can send a proposal. It also emphasizes that marrying a Muslim woman without her consent is completely contrary to Islamic tradition.

Now you know that marrying for love is acceptable in Islam. Whether you are a woman or a man, Islam gives you the right to consent to marriage. In Islam, parents cannot force their children to marry. So you can marry the person you like. If Islam gives women the right to marry anyone, why are some parents not allowing their daughters to avail of this right? There are several possible reasons for this. One reason may be their way of thinking, as they may, unfortunately, consider their daughters to be “property” and thus not allow them to assert their rights.

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Other parents are not well-informed about Islam and are unaware of the rights that Islam gives to women. The best way to deal with this is to study the Quran. Thus, you will not only know your rights as a woman, but you can easily convince your parents of your rights, based on the teachings of Islam.