Aasha Khosa/New Delhi

Before I got married and happened to be with my Syrian Catholic in-laws on that day in Kerala, I hadn’t realized the true significance of Good Friday. As most of us from non-Abrahamic religions, especially Hindus, have no concept of a day of mourning and only celebrations as part of religious litany, I always considered it as a day when Jesus was crucified and his followers commemorate his sacrifice by keeping a fast.

In Kerala – Kanjirapally, a village in Kottayam – where Roman Catholics have a huge presence and influence on society, the day is all about silence and prayers. I was told that even birds do not chirp on that day, but had to be there to experience it. Silence is a powerful weapon to cleanse one’s mind and soul; that day I felt the combined silence that pervaded everywhere also made me do an self-introspection. I had a similar experience while visiting Bhai's Lotus Temple in Delhi, where silence is mandatory.

Everyone at home including children observed silence and read prayers silently. It was the day of penance; time for one to look within and introspect.

It’s around this time of the year that a most important spiritual exercise is held for Christians in the church – Confession. On the day, I remember my school-going daughter returning with her father after making a confession to the Father (Priest) behind a curtain in complete secrecy, calmer and chastised.

For a few days, she didn’t throw her usual tantrums or raise her voice. She has doled the punishment of saying “Hail Mary…” prayer several times as penance. As a non-Christian, I found it a good psychological recipe for the character-building of children. Back in Kerala, On Food Friday, seniors and children alike kneel for long periods while praying to feel the discomfort and physical pain in memory of the torture that Jesus Christ faced as he was crucified.

The day went in fasting with only children and the sick being exempt. They too were served rather unpalatable food and nobody had the luxury of complaining. For example, there was a curry made of onion with bitter gourds and chapattis (a punishment for the rice-eating Malayalees) for dinner. The rituals are associated with suffering – an antonym for luxury. Humans tend to go through the sufferings and pain that Christ went through for the sake of the good of humanity. I was told that people undertake uphill pilgrimages carrying a cross on their shoulders on that day in Idduki district.

Some of the teenage children did go for the pilgrimage on the hills on that day. Extreme steps to bear pain is a personal choice but generally, it has to be symbolic and nothing is enforced.

Looking into history, one realizes Good Friday holds significance for the Christians of all denominations the world over. It marks the day when Jesus Christ was arrested in the garden at Gethsemane and condemned to death by the Roman Governor of Judaea Pontius Pilate. Back in Delhi, Christians pray in churches where the mood is somber and people disperse quietly with heads bent and eyes lowered. Before the pandemic visited humans and interrupted our normal lives in Delhi one could visit the YMCA’s evening show on the life of Jesus. Senior artists took part in the drama that was shown for at least three days in succession.

It’s another matter that many non-Christians would unwittingly end up wishing a Christian a "Happy Good Friday' not knowing that it’s a day of sadness and commemoration. One government officer would invariably visit us especially to wish “Happy Good Friday.”

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It was somewhat embarrassing yet I ended up serving him tea and snacks and kept him wondering “Why no elaborate party today as you do on Diwali and Christmas.” On Sunday, Christians celebrate Easter in commemoration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and it’s a festival of joy.