Eman Sakina

We live in an age where everyone has a voice, but very few people seem willing to listen. Social media has made expressing opinions easier than ever, yet respectful conversation is becoming increasingly difficult. A difference of opinion, which should be an opportunity to learn, often turns into an argument, personal attacks or public humiliation. People are quick to judge, label and cancel others, sometimes without even understanding what they are trying to say. In such an atmosphere, it is worth revisiting an important Islamic tradition: “Adab-ul-Ikhtilaf, the etiquette of disagreement.”

Friday Musings

Islam does not demand that all people think alike. Differences in understanding, interpretation and opinion have existed throughout Islamic history. What Islam teaches is how to handle those differences with wisdom, patience, knowledge and dignity. Disagreement is not necessarily a sign of disunity; the real problem begins when disagreement destroys respect and brotherhood.

The Quran offers a beautiful principle for meaningful conversation: "Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best." (Surah An-Nahl 16:125)

This verse reminds us that even when we are discussing matters of faith, truth or morality, our language and approach matter. Being right does not give anyone permission to be rude. The purpose of a conversation should be to reach understanding, not to defeat another person.

The Prophet Muhammad demonstrated this quality throughout his life. He listened patiently, responded gently and corrected people without unnecessarily humiliating them. His conversations were not opportunities to display superiority but occasions to guide, educate and build relationships. Even when faced with harsh words, he often responded with remarkable restraint.

Another important Quranic teaching concerns the way Muslims should speak to one another: "And speak to people good words." (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:83)

This instruction is not limited to conversations with people who agree with us. Good speech is a reflection of character, and it becomes especially important when emotions are running high.

Islamic intellectual history also provides valuable lessons in respectful disagreement. Muslim scholars often differed over legal interpretations, religious questions and methods of understanding Islamic teachings. Yet scholarly disagreement was not supposed to become personal hostility. They examined evidence, presented arguments and recognised that another scholar could arrive at a different conclusion. Their commitment to knowledge was greater than their desire to win an argument.

Today, however, online platforms have changed the nature of disagreement. A short comment can provoke thousands of reactions. A mistake made years ago can be brought back to damage someone's reputation. People are often judged by a single statement, while context, intention and the possibility of personal growth are ignored. Cancel culture sometimes replaces thoughtful criticism with public condemnation.

This does not mean that wrongdoing should be ignored or that people should never be held accountable. Islam values justice and truth. However, accountability should not become cruelty, and criticism should not turn into character assassination. There is a difference between correcting someone's mistake and destroying someone's dignity.

The Quran warns believers against mocking, insulting and giving offensive labels to one another (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:11). It also teaches us to avoid excessive suspicion, spying and backbiting (49:12). These verses are particularly relevant in the digital age, when forwarding an unverified accusation or posting an insulting comment takes only a few seconds.

Reviving Adab-ul-Ikhtilaf begins with small but meaningful changes. We must learn to listen before responding, verify information before sharing it and disagree with an argument without attacking the person presenting it. We should be willing to say, "I may be wrong," and have the humility to appreciate a valid point made by someone with whom we disagree.

Parents must teach children that winning every argument is not a sign of intelligence. Educational institutions should encourage discussions where different perspectives can be expressed without fear of ridicule. Religious platforms and community gatherings should also become spaces where questions are welcomed, and differences are handled with knowledge rather than hostility.

Perhaps the greatest test of our character is not how politely we speak to people who share our opinions, but how respectfully we treat those who challenge them.

The art of conversation is not about having the last word. It is about leaving room for another person's voice. Islam teaches us that our tongues are a responsibility, our words have consequences, and our manners are part of our faith.

In an era where outrage travels faster than wisdom, reviving Adab-ul-Ikhtilaf is more than an intellectual exercise. It is a moral necessity. We do not have to agree on everything to respect one another. Sometimes, the most Islamic thing we can do is disagree without hatred, correct without humiliation and listen without prejudice.

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‘A community that knows how to disagree respectfully is a community that has not forgotten the true beauty of its faith.’